Humans of Portsmouth - Fidelia's Story

In Sierra Leone we have a saying “Allman sabi allman.”

I was born in London, but my family moved back to Sierra Leone where I spent the next 18 years, growing up with my siblings, parents and grandmother. Community was never something I had to find, it was always there woven into my life. I did not start my journey alone. I didn’t accomplish the things I did alone, celebrate alone or recover from hardship alone. I had people around me. I have a community.

That is what Black History Month means to me too. It is a moment and a movement where we come together to recognise the experiences and realities of Black people from different parts of the world. We celebrate our shared cultures, learn from those we may never have experienced before and come together to build a better and kinder world.

Being neurodivergent means that we see the world differently. I was able to notice the beauty in the world that others missed and appreciate its uniqueness. But it wasn’t all positivity, I spent my teenage years isolated and although I was often happy, I was also so sad. It was hard, and life isn’t always sunshine and rainbows, but I made what I could of my life and that kept me going. 

That was until August before I left for Portsmouth, when my dad passed away suddenly. 

Nothing could have prepared me for this moment. My dad was my happy place. He was my everything and everything I ever wanted to be. His hardworking nature inspired me to be ambitious, driven and to be constantly learning. I will never ‘recover’ from losing him, but I can take his values with me forever and continue to grow through the pain. Moving to the UK gave me the opportunity to avoid my thoughts and my feelings. 

I initially came to Portsmouth because I could see myself being a student at the University. The city, its nature, stories and people reminded me ever so slightly of home: green mountains, roaring seas and that firm coastal breeze. Portsmouth became a home away from home - my little safe haven. I can see myself living here, growing here and thriving within the wider Portsmouth community.

I got involved in college, got good grades, met new people and kept myself busy. For a while, I felt okay.What I didn’t realise is that I was just running away from reality and not letting myself heal from losing my dad. 

Suddenly the depression hit. Everything I had worked so hard to control quickly snowballed out of control. The grief, mental health, neurodiversity and trying to succeed at university came collapsing inwards. I was drowning in what I had worked so hard to keep tidied away. I wasn’t sure if I could continue. 

But I did. 

I would go as far as to say that being involved in societies and finding community with fellow students did not just shape my university experience, it actively supported me through my mental health struggles and kept me invested and interested in my personal, professional and academic future.

My introduction to societies started with Afro-Fusion Dance. I realised that I could take a hobby I had always loved and turn it into a consistent part of my life. I found a community.

We weren’t simply people who danced together. We were people from completely different backgrounds who happened to share a common interest. I began catching myself in moments of complete bliss, and in these moments I was able to forget the sadness. Being part of a society was my escape from the world and a place where I felt so much happiness.

I eventually took on committee roles within Afro-Fusion, first as the Dance & Events Coordinator and then became President in my final year. I spent evenings creating choreography, teaching classes, organising activities and MCing games nights. These are things I never thought I was capable of doing, but the community around me supported me too.

Being part of Afro-Fusion’s committee taught me responsibility, accountability and leadership. It taught me that sometimes leadership means taking charge, sometimes it means listening, and sometimes it means admitting you were wrong and changing direction. The Union gave me space to practise all of those things. 

My involvement with the Students’ Union became one of the most defining parts of my university experience.

All of these decisions that I made throughout university led to being awarded the Student Impact Award for Arts and Culture. I didn’t spend university chasing it. There was no grand plan. There was just ordinary moments that had an impact on the community. 

In all my experiences and the different ways I’ve gotten involved with the University and the Union, one common thread has remained: community.