Humans of Portsmouth - Blessing's Story

I studied English. While studying, I read much about literature, especially English literature and American literature. I kind of fell in love with the way British history is recorded and I wanted to explore their culture more. I started thinking about doing my masters in the UK, to be able to know more about their culture and be able to experience it myself. This concept made me wait with my masters after I graduated. I waited for a long time to make sure I was ready - around 10 years. I was just working, doing other certifications, but I never did my masters. When the right time came, I came here to do that because I love the water and I needed to be close to it! 

I also looked at the university ratings, their website and the course itself. I study masters in Business Communication for International Leadership (with Professional Experience). This course was the perfect match for me because business, communication and leadership are all areas that I want to explore and develop my skills in. 

[Tell me something about you that would surprise me] I don't know if you already know, but I have three kids - 10, 8 and 6. Two boys and a girl for the last! It was exactly the way I wanted it to go. I’ve been in the UK for about 14 months now. They weren’t born here and it took them a while to adjust because it took about 2 months for them to start school so they were bored staying at home. They love to read and they love to go to school. Once they got into school, they fell in love with the UK because they started making friends. For me it is always easy to adjust because I am very adventurous. The first time I came to Portsmouth, I didn’t feel like I missed anybody. It feels natural for me to move to a new place and be comfortable. 

The only place I know, I'll never forget, is a place in London called Shepherd’s Bush. The first time I went to London years ago, I went there to have lunch, and I can't forget that lunch. I can't remember the name of the place but it’s so amazing that after so many years I still remember that place because of the food. I tried searching for the hotel I stayed at, but I couldn’t find it so maybe it was rebuilt. I’m sure things must have changed so I am not sure I could find it if I went back. 

I am happiest when I’m listening to gospel music and when I have a really productive day. It’s like: oh my goodness, I am so happy with myself. 

[What is your greatest achievement?] Basically, I wouldn't say it's the greatest thing that I want to achieve but one of them is seeing the impact I had on people that I helped previously. When people reach out to me to remind me about something I have helped them with and say thank you so much, it feels really nice and rewarding. 

[Most influential person in your life] It could be someone I cherish a lot but it doesn’t mean that I 100% agree with everything they do. It’s kind of difficult for me to just say this one person, but this person is unforgettable for me. After I finished my undergrad, in my first job in a bank, the bank manager saw that I was really willing to learn. So he was there for me and taught me a lot of things I needed to know. I worked with him for less than 2 years, but during that time I learned a lot from him and he really supported me. Even after working with him, I met many more people that had supported me and influenced my life. 

I like to read about this business person. Grant Cardone who is from the USA. He’s an American billionaire and I follow him on Facebook. I like that he is very blunt. He is really good at business and real estate. But people have different phases of life where they like multiple people. At the university here, I really love Anne Murphy. She is someone I look up to due to her leadership and communication skills. She knows how to get people to do things - she is not coercive but she knows how to tell you why something needs to be done. By the time she is done, you cannot think of a reason to not give something a shot. 

The induction week at the university I had when I came to Portsmouth was probably the best time I had in Portsmouth so far. It gave me the opportunity to meet and befriend people from different nationalities. The way things went really felt like it built up the community and that sense of belonging. Perhaps that is why I was able to aspire to achieve more within the university - that period made me realise that we came from so many different backgrounds but yet we all share something in common. We all want to be together and have fun. 

My greatest struggle is my health. It really affected my grades when I came into the uni. My dream was to graduate with a distinction, which in my first teaching block I was really there. I had no less than 70! So I really thought I would get a distinction. But then, in March, early last year, I realised that something was odd about me. It took a while for the NHS to get in touch with me but in May they started running tests because they suspected that something was wrong. That started a trauma and it really affected my grades and I struggled to finish my dissertation. In fact, I submitted my dissertation in December because I had to take an ECF. Now I've come to realise that mental struggle might just be worse than physical challenge. I was able to manage the physical aspect, but the mental aspect made me not be able to concentrate. 

Being in the UK, I think it made things better. If I was in my country, I would be struggling to get medical attention. Cancer treatment in my country is not advanced yet. There are treatments, but the places where you can get that type of treatment are limited. Being in the UK, things were made easier because the NHS has quite a good number of successes and treatments available. 

[Advice for the next officer] First, I would say it is normal to be overwhelmed. It is normal to be confused for the first few weeks. There are lots of acronyms that you’ll be wondering about meaning, which you can’t find in the dictionary. Take it as it comes, relax, you will get there. Within 3 months, you will get there and you will realise that you can do this. Also, I would advise them to focus on the things they want to achieve, if not then they will get distracted. There will be many people that will want to work with you but if it’s not a priority or a project you’re interested in, it is okay to let them know that you wouldn't be able to take it further. You can end up achieving other people’s dreams and yours wouldn’t be achieved if you don’t prioritise. 

[What excites you most about the future?] I feel that I'm getting to the stage of being able to help as many people as I want to help. I feel very happy when I see that I've done something that makes others happy. I'm not trying to be people's pleaser, but when I positively impact other people's lives, it really means a lot to me. I think that is the most important thing I was born to do. But in order to achieve that, I have to focus on achieving things for myself as well. Yes, and one of them is to become a business advisory consultant. I am happy with my qualification and once I graduate here, it will help me start that aspect of my life.

[What do you think is the biggest challenge facing students today? How can it be tackled?] Everyone talks about cost of living. Yes, I know it's a challenge, but I think students are mostly challenged by the information social media brings in. It does not give them the opportunity to focus on the things that matter which contributes to their mental health challenges. If the pressure from social media would be removed, students would not feel the financial burden as much. The cost of living affecting some students is also based on what they see on social media - the way other people live their lives, the way some people spend their money, the fake money or the fake life we see on social media. Trying to keep up with the people on social media can impact finances. This could be tackled with self discipline - the conscious effort to not be influenced by others. Avoid being negatively influenced by your environment and social media, even if it means deactivating some of your social media accounts, especially if they don’t really add value to your life. These apps subconsciously affect your mind. You might think that you are passing time using them, but some of the information that you are getting fed is not healthy for you. If you’re interested in business and you’re checking information on TikTok that is helpful to your business, then that is useful but sometimes just scrolling aimlessly kind of becomes an addiction and young people need to make a conscious effort to control that.